HAPPY HOLY DAY, OR an inquiry into goal-setting, OR a review of assuming size, OR random holy day wishes

decided to write this after reading the poetry chapbook Assuming Size (Monster House Press 2010) and Brandon Scott Gorrel's bleak outlook on 2011 (via ThoughtCatalog)

made a list of goals today

never have understood new year's resolutions, seems very arbitrary

these are not new year's resolutions

think i might even print out the email i typed them up in and sent to myself and put it on my wall (at home, not on facebook)

i used to set goals a lot of the time when i ran xc and track

problem is, i generally never was able to achieve lots of my goals

i think, in general, my goals were: "run a 5k in less than 17:30, 1600m under 5 minutes, and 800m under 2:05" as i remember

never achieved any of those, think they were probably a bit beyond my reach, "realistically", considering that i started drinking and smoking sometimes eventually during high school

thats how sports always was

so then i started learning music and writing

feel i need to make new goals now

with music i generally made goals

like: "i am going to be home from school for the summer, so i should get a band together and make another collection of songs like i did when i was in high school and it will help me feel productive, fulfilled, and not depressed" or something

but generally, socially and creatively, and dont make enough goals

im always like "live in the moment" and then i just sit there and am content or discontent and content or something, not much intuition because i dont set goals and im generally kind of apathetic or lazy maybe

maybe im being too hard on myself

i want to actually finish my novella-thing i have been writing the past couple months

i always have tried to write longer-form fiction things, i wrote two or three different beginnings or parts of novel/la/s and then just gave up

i dont like my writing usually when i look back at it

think having concrete goals and editing more and rereading my own stuff will help me be more consistent in my writing and i will also like it more

also want to start submitting poems and stories and essays more to places, maybe, i think i need to spend less time on social networking websites and online encyclopedias and gmail in order to learn the best ways to do that because i used to post on my blog all the time but im kind of over the lately recently whatever

want to start a book club (online)

Also maybe a radio show (online) but that would be a rip off of Zachary german too much maybe

have a bunch of other goals, that arent worth telling, or i just dont want to tell because theyre embarassing

finishing up final essays right now, hating life, kind of

then i have a piece i am doing on christopher higgs, its really long and rambling and i dont have the patience to deal with it right now

then i need to celebrate dec 31-jan1, and continue expanding/revising my fiction thing, and get to work on my other goals, and go into work a lot at my job so i can save money so i can go on a trip

otherwise, thats it, i guess, not really, though







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Assuming Size is a fun little chapbook

I have read it twice already while sitting on the toilet

It is small and can be carried in a pocket, I think I already value it as a material possession, maybe

I generally liked the style of the poetry, as I expected I would

Jordan Castro's poems seem very tightly written and linear, but also very self-conscious of its approach, very blatantly referencing various "buzz" topics among his corner of the internet literary scene, or something, as well as its linear approach its also self-conscious, kind of, actually im not sure if this is accurate

James Payne's poems remind me kind of Gordon Lish, although Lish mostly wrote fiction, I think, and I might just be saying that because I read Lish recently.  I think Payne creates a good rhythm, that might be what im going for.  Very steady, well-paced, cool, whatever.

Ryan J doesnt have a last name.  I think I might have liked his the best.  It was maybe more narrative.  Fuck, I can't write anymore about lit right now.  Maybe I will do rewrite expansion of this review sometime, i dont know

I also liked Richard Wehrenberg's alot,  Maybe I like R's more than J's in terms of letters.  I cant really write anymore right now.  Im exhausted.  Its midnight.




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Have a good holy day

I would wish for stuff, but i dont know what good it will do, probably not much

bye